self-questioning

Today 1 of my best fren call me,

we talk for quite long time,

i think mayb got bout 15 mins o mayb 30mins(not sure)...

hehe......

cos we long time never c each other d,

so we got so many things 2 talk bout....

u noe la gals memang qiong hei....

hehe...

she miss her boyfren,

so i try 2 console n comfort her.

i don like 2 my fren sad o cry,

cos when they feel sad,

i will feel sad too.....

eh my dear fren,

don so dwn k.........

u still got me mah.....

but i noe i m not number1 in ur heart i noe....

hahaha...

we talk talk talk,

suddenly i ask her bout me.....

i want her 2 tel me honestly....

i ask her m i really not mature????

i noe she wanna say ya......

but she never so straight forward la....

she jz say ya got a bit la,

cos mayb till now i not yet go through those obstacles n difficulties....

n i m not tat suitable to talk bout relationship btw boy n gal...

actually i got a bit sad la...

but of cos i never blame her,

cos i ask her myself.

i dono i should fully accept wat ppl say o jz accpet part of tat...

ya i agree i m quite childish,

the way i speak n my gerak-geri.........

but i can say for sumthing ,

i got my own thinking n opinion,

jz tat i never tell out.....

so,

most of the ppl n even my best fren will say me vry immature.

i dono i shuld change,

or jz continue to b myself.....

some ppl ask me don care watever ppl say,

jz b myself,

the most important thing is i happy~~~~

i dono i shold listen 2 who???

to myself?to fren?(which fren?)

sometimes i really headache wit myself,

cos i don undersatnd myself well.

i dono de decision i made is right ot wrong...

everything i still hesitating, not sure.....

n most of the times actually not i dono,

but i try 2 escape n pretend like dono~~~~

don worry fren,

i never blame u,

i m jz self-questioning~~~~

i really wish i m jz a small kid like tis little CUTTIE,

cos i no need to think so much~~~

no need 2 care bout others~~~~